HOW TO OVERCOME JEALOUSY IN A RELATIONSHIP

Jealousy is a human emotion that we all instinctively experience at some point in our lives. Jealousy can refer to a strong desire for or envy of someone else’s success, stature, or possessions.

Taken in a social context, it can refer to a perceived threat to a valued relationship or to its quality. Jealousy may cause someone to be doubtful of his or her partner and feel threatened by his or her interaction with certain people. It involves a fear of losing the other person.

There are different kinds of jealousy and educating yourself on them may help you and your partner develop a stronger relationship.

Healthy Jealousy

Jealousy doesn’t necessarily indicate negative connotations in all cases. After all, it is quite natural for men and women to be protective and possessive of the one that they love. In a relationship, when feelings of jealousy are mild and occasional, it reminds the couple not to take each other for granted. It can encourage couples to appreciate one another and make an effort to ensure the other person feels valued.

Having reservations about your significant other going to a strip club, the sight of him or her drooling over an attractive person of the opposite sex, or witnessing him or her flirting with someone else are innocent examples of how jealousy can be a perfectly normal reaction.

Destructive Jealousy

Sometimes, jealous feelings can balloon out of proportion. It is a completely different story when jealousy becomes frequent, intense, and irrational. Once you reach this stage, you obsessively begin to question your lover’s loyalty to you and it sends you into a blind rage. You may even try to restrict your partner’s interactions with other people and constantly monitor where he or she goes and what he or she does.

If you can’t control your jealousy, it is bound to be detrimental to your relationship. It eats away at the most important thing holding it together – trust. It can leave your loved one constantly feeling like they are walking on eggshells.

If you find yourself drifting into the realm of harmful and unhealthy jealousy, there are things you can do to prevent it from ruining your current and future relationships.

Identify the Root of the Problem

What is causing this unfounded jealousy? You may behave this way because you have been cheated on in the past. This may cause you to be more possessive and controlling in a new relationship for fear of repetition, even if he or she has never given you a reason to be doubtful.

If this is the case, it is important to deal with these feelings and insecurities before you enter a new relationship. Harboring unresolved feelings from past relationships is a sure sign that you aren’t ready for a new one.

Give yourself a Reality Check

Focus on what is really happening, not what you perceive to be happening. How realistic is the threat? What evidence do you have that your relationship is in danger? Distinguish fact from fiction.

If you have no solid grounds for feeling jealous, your false accusations will cause a lot of unnecessary strain on the relationship. Don’t let your imagination draw a negative picture of your partner.

Positive Self-Talk

Sometimes, you need to give yourself a pep talk. When you start feeling those twinges of jealousy, remind yourself that your partner loves you and is committed to you. Realize that he or she is with you for a reason. These self-affirmations can help you boost your confidence.

Seek Reassurance

If you can’t talk yourself out of a jealous funk, perhaps communicating your feelings will help resolve your insecurities. One of the best ways to beat jealousy is to ask your partner for reassurance. Make sure you don’t take an accusatory, nagging, or bullying tone with him or her. Instead, share your feelings of doubt and ask them to help you overcome them.

By communicating your feelings, you can work out solutions together.

Get an Objective Opinion

Ask a close friend to take note of your behaviour around your boyfriend or girlfriend. Sometimes, you aren’t fully aware of your actions, especially when emotions like jealousy cloud your judgment. By getting a neutral party’s perspective, it can help you fully understand the extent of your actions.

A good friend will let you know if your behaviour is out of control and destructive.

Set Boundaries from the Start

Try establishing some general guidelines at the beginning of the relationship. Let your partner know what is and isn’t acceptable for you. Be careful not to use this piece of advice as a means to control your boyfriend or girlfriend, just let him or her know what makes you tick.

For example, how far is too far when it comes to flirting? Telling your partner what makes you uncomfortable can also help you trust him or her more since you are divulging sensitive feelings.


taken from www.bestlovetips.com

THE BEGINNING OF A NEW RELATIONSHIP - COURTING

The "Courting Phase" does not refer to the courtship process which precedes a relationship. The courtship process is when you attempt to charm someone into forming a relationship with you. The courting phase, however, is the very beginning of a new relationship itself; just after a successful courtship.

In the courting phase, both parties maintain that fascinating charm which they used to attract their partner in the first place. The courting phase is where most broken promises & exaggerate words are said as you are still trying to impress each other. Things like 'I've never felt this way about anyone else before' or 'I think we have something special between us' are said. Although these statements are made with good intentions, they are often inaccurate and are based mainly on feeling as oppose to logic.

A couple in the courting phase also tend to be very "playful" with one another and prefer to spend every free moment together.

Although not every relationship passes through this courting phase, it happens often enough. Just make sure you are beyond this point before you start taking any serious steps in the relationship.

taken from www.bestlovetips.com

What is Puppy Love?

WHAT IS PUPPY LOVE ?

To be very blunt about it, Puppy Love can also be referred to as "false love". Puppy love usually happens to younger couples that are inexperienced and/or very naive, although it has been known to happen to mature couples as well.

A relationship based on puppy love always involves lots of cute pet names for one another as well as an extreme need to make the relationship general knowledge; this is often achieved by, although not limited to, sitting on each others' laps and kissing in the public eye.

It is called puppy love because the feelings associated with it are similar to those you would have for a puppy dog. Soon enough, the novelty wears off

taken from www.bestlovetips.com

kisses types

• The polished kiss - based on the kiss of green woodpecker but with more hesitation in it: if I to embrace on the cheek “given” or should I just make a noise of low light of the kiss beside the ear?




• The kiss of the beginner- In this sexy kiss, you gently make your brush of lips against her lips. You can also whirl your lips slowly around his lips. To slacken, let go to allow your lips to wander above and around its extase pure of mouth….





• The opened eyes kiss - those people are always on a “watch”. Got to be in control. Connected to reality. Can not and would not let this experience swap them away. There is no fear on “crashing down” as they never left the ground. Those people and the suspicious, careful controlled type.




• The French kiss - passion. Lasts for ever. Involves all parts of the mouth and excites the rest of the body. The point of this kiss is a “meeting” between the two tongues. The French kiss is a kind of “trespassing” to one’s privacy and can sometimes stimulate a rejection especially if the partner is the shy/afraid/close type.

• The passage kiss-in love It is the manner that you can mix the eroticism in food and vice versa. You pass something in a sensual way to your in love-like a chocolate, an ice, a fruit etc You must gently hold it between your lips and make its mouth touch the piece which you have. Then with your language, to gently push the article in its mouth.




• Eastern Swirl and Poke Kiss-You allow your lips to swirl and poke around the body of your woman.




• The overall kiss - Starts with the mouth, goes to the cheeks, the nose, the forehead and sometimes further.




• The vacuum kiss - A passion kiss that might hurt. It is a kiss the kind of “arguing” with the partner - my place or yours? It is like the kisser is trying to swallow the partner - not so much for love as for lust.




• Lush Lap Kiss-Your lips dangerously pass very close to close to the skin of your in love. After separation of your lips, you must use a company, a slow covering of the language tightened with its flesh or her lips. This kiss puts to you in the order and gives the sexy vibes to the lady who wants that its man takes the head.




• The woodpecker kiss - The name says it all. Very economic, quick and sometimes even irritating.

Love vs Infatuation

All your life, or looks like so, you have been waiting for person who made your pound of the heart, done the shining stars, and assumed the control all the reasonable processes of the thought with ideas to make love in each beach of here to Tahití. You have a strange expression in your face, the food looks like suddenly as a mere inconvenience and the dream is just something that you did.

Your friends tease you about being in the love. Your mother INFORMS YOU about being in the love. Naturally, you are not stupid. You were around (more than the mom knows), and you spent time in the meditation/therapy having explored your own needs in the world. You want a companion of heart but this type/gallon is so sexy simply that it is difficult to imagine to present him/it at your parents of the whole.

Love is Forever Changing

Love as a dynamic process. For me, that means that there is a relationship that flexes, changes and grows as people mature, experience happens upon them, priorities and dreams are built and goals are met. Love brings out the best in people as individuals. The relationship between them becomes the way they define their lives. As jobs, careers, and family concerns change, people are able to work as a team to be understanding and flexible so the relationship (their lives) will flourish.

The dynamic process of the love equalizes a division of the emotion, confidence, and growth of the relationship. The growth increases the capacity of a couple of living symbiotically, appreciates each other company, trusts each other with more secrecies, depends on other in more crises during years, by raising children and by taking care of the parents of ageing. It is about aging together, and of the long-term investments like real estate and the children.

Is it Just Infatuation?

As would you say infatuation? Thats when you think of somebody any hour, you leave your manner of being around him/her it, and you start to concentrate your priorities on him/her as well. There is history with this person: Perhaps a short history, but perhaps completely a moment. You both have pleasure to be together. You rêvassez about one the other and obtain all crawly in your underclothing. But is this love? I want to say, hates you to be wrong about this kind of thing, perhaps particularly if you have with the together reproducing spirit (or perhaps if you forget to think that just once). Infatuation as define it here, is a static process characterized by a not very realistic hope of happy passion without positive growth and development. Characterized by a lack of confidence, the lack of fidelity, the lack of engagement, misses reciprocity, a infatuation is not necessarily foreplay for a scenario of love. People, however, have many reasons to make engagements.

Most people are infatuated with their love partners to a certain degree. People who are in love think of their partners periodically when they are apart (some more than others). Men seem to be better, in general, in compartmentalizing their lives, thereby putting thoughts of loved ones aside until the mind is free to dwell on life. And yes, there are many exceptions and many ranges within the genders.

Knowing the Difference?

So how do you know? The question, actually is simple, the answer, however, is not easy to own or accept. And here it is: Does this relationship bring out the best in both of you?
This is the part where you get to assess and evaluate yourself and your partner, and your relationship honestly.

Though difficult, evaluating how things are going at regular intervals can help to give some direction (and re-direct misdirection) to people who are self-guided toward happiness and success. For those who are on a negative course, people who are unhappy, confused and perhaps self-sabotaging, regular evaluation can point out some hard truths about oneself, and/or about the person you want to take the next step with.

While you try to evaluate whether or not it is the real thing, here are some things to consider:

Are you happy? That would be a yes or no. When you wake up, are you glad to be alive? Are you grateful for the blessings that you receive daily, like being alive and loved? Are you loved and treated as a person of value? Does his or her mother know about you?

Is your life on a positive track?
Do you have hope for the future?
Do you have dreams and work toward them all the time?
Is your life better because your boy/girlfriend is in it? Really?

Are you in this relationship alone? Having someone on your arm makes life less complicated. You get a built in escort and date. Most people seem to think and feel better as part of a pair. There is a sense of social relief as well meaning family and friends stop trying to fix you up. Are you thinking and planning as a pair? Do you automatically consider both of your plans for the weekend, or merely anticipate maybe meeting up sometime? Have you postponed or given up your hopes and dreams for the relationship or have you restructured your dreams together?

Bringing it Into Reality

Infatuation can even be thought of as love with only 2 dimensions. With love, that third dimension is reality. So, it is actually your ability to tell what is real in a relationship, versus what is imagined. You love being part of a couple, but is this the person you want to be in a couple with?

Look at the reality of who this person is, not who she/he wants to be. Do you always interact over dinner and drinks? Meet under different circumstances. Become part of each other's lives. If that is not happening, why not? Are you spending and enjoying time together? What happens when you're apart? Are you sure?

Trying to differentiate your love interest from your lust interest is requires a level head and the courage to face the unpleasant. It also requires maturity and the ability to take a step back and survey the big picture. The result is more control and confidence as you stride your way in love's direction.

Determining the Difference

The answers, and the courage to face the facts is the key to making the determination. In infatuation, your gaze, your thoughts and maybe your world revolves around someone. You have blinders on. It seems that all the world pales in comparison to this person's looks, talents, intelligence, creativity, etc. What you might not see by keeping the blinders on, what can be serious flaws in any relationship, are the destructive traits and behaviors that degrade self esteem and cause some pretty negative effects on one's choices and decisions.

Many have had the experience of looking back at some early romance, in middle or high school perhaps, when we were 'in love' with a special teacher, or camp counselor. It can be easier to see in retrospect, what you weren't ready to see at the time. Your thoughts of
romance were simply an innocent fantasy: An infatuation that felt like love at the time.

Aside from your age, what was it about you that made you make that mistake. Innocence? Loneliness?: A longing to grow up, maybe. But those were things going on in your head. In fact, these feelings had little to do with the actual object of your infatuation (crush). It could be that some of those same feelings and needs exist for you today. Beware of your own vulnerability, and your own desire to 'get rescued' from that solitary life of the unpaired.

In time, the faults that you refuse to see will begin to come to the foreground. You may be infatuated with a rich and powerful person, but as you come to know that person on a more intimate basis, the qualities that intrigued you will begin to fade into the background.

In the case of love, your focus is on your special someone, and that someone exists in the real world. Give and take, compromise and cooperation are characteristics of love relationships. Working toward common goals, sharing dreams and values define the dynamics of a good love relationship. People know each other on a separate and private level than the world at large.

First Date Dudes

Do clothes make the man? Do clothes make the woman? Of course not. But they dramatically influence a Potential Love Partner's perception of you. Remember, their perception is all they have to go on when you meet.When I first researched the ideal love-hunting outfit, I thought (as perhaps you do now) that clothes are more important on the woman. Not so. Men's instinctive ability to "mentally undress" a woman makes a girl wonder if it was worth spending last month's paycheck on that great Versace ensemble.
How curious it is that a woman will ruminate for hours on what to wear on a date, whereas a man grabs the first threads his groping hand hits in the darkened closet. Unless the studies lie, it should be the exact opposite. Men's hunting gear is far more important to make the kill than a woman's is.

"I Haven't Got a Thing to Wear"
(Women, Don't Worry about It. Men, Worry about It.)
Let's turn to science to get the bottom line on clothes. In a University of Syracuse study, both men and women were shown pictures of members of the opposite sex.Some of the men and women in the photos wore chic upscale clothes, and others wore less expensive outfits that ranged from cheap to downright cheesy. The results?

The women were asked six hypothetical questions all the way from "Whom would you choose to marry?" to a rather surprising scientific probing, "Whom would you choose for a onenight stand?" How the male was dressed was extremely important to the women. Many women have an uncanny ability to spot a pair of Gucci shoes on a man a quarter of a mile away across a crowded ballroom. The better dressed a man was, the higher his marks were in all six categories—including onenight nookie. Evolutionary theorists tell us that, even when considering a quickie, a woman subconsciously listens to her genes.

When a man is well dressed, it signifies his ability to provide for her offspring. Even when she's wondering "Should I or shouldn't I tonight?" how well you could care for her and her unborn children is in the back of her mind. Don't blame the woman. She's just instinctively doing what Mother Nature decrees.

DRESS AFFLUENTLY

In spite of millions of years of sexual evolution, men and
women still approach romance differently. Even when seeking a casual liaison (i.e., a one-night stand), do not go out dressed like an unmade bed. Dress as though you were auditioning to be her husband.

Even though you know you look dynamite in your bunhugging Levi's, with many women you'll do much better at a pickup bar in a three-piece suit, even though you're the only man there so well dressed. That does not mean, gentlemen, that you can't dress casually, but forget your cheap and comfy grungies. She might find you cool in your old L. L. Bean tartan chambray shirt, but your comfiest K mart plaid polyester (which looks the same to you) won't fly high with her. Ah, if only if it could be so simple for women. What fun to go shopping for an elegant outfit that you know will knock his socks off on the first date. Unfortunately, Huntresses, your designer suit will be probably be lost on him unless he's a gold digger. You can't believe he won't be wiped out by your new Oscar de la Renta suit? Believe it. The same researchers proved how relatively unimportant a woman's clothes are. Men were shown photographs of women prejudged to be very attractive, moderately attractive, and unattractive. The men expressed interest in having relations with the highly attractive and moderately attractive women no matter how badly they were dressed. No matter how well the unattractive women were dressed, however, overall it was a no-go. Save your expensive clothes to impress your girlfriends or your prospective employer. With men, how you carry yourself, your hair, your nails, your makeup, your grooming, your friendliness—that's what scores.

Let us now proceed into deeper, more subliminal waters. Before we start our journey, however, I ask only one thing of you. Please suspend any preconceived notions of what you should and should not do in a relationship. Much of what you have heard is probably excellent advice for keeping a relationship warm for many years, but that is not our stated mission here. Our ambition is more cunning: It is to get someone to fall in love with you. For that, we need some of the extremely subtle techniques that follow.

Why I Love You?

Use this list to help spark your loving imagination and create an "ultimate" romantic gift for your love! Please note: Not all of the items on this list will apply to your relationship. When you see one that doesn't, just substitute it with your own reason.

I love the way we finish each other's sentences.

1. I love the way I know you'll never give up on me.
   
   
2. I love the fact that I wouldn't ever give up on you.
   
   
3. I love the way you look at me.
   
   
4. I love how beautiful your eyes are.
   
   
5. I love the way I can't imagine a day without you in my life.
   
   
6. I love the way if we were ever separated I wouldn't know how to go on.
   
   
7. I love the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.
   
   
8. I love the way we sometimes stay up all night and just talk, then watch the sunrise together.
   
   
9. I love how I know you'll always be there when I need you to be.
   
   
10. I love the fact that I will always be there for you too.
11. I love how when I dream of my life partner, the only person that I can see is you.
    
    
12. I love how complete I feel when I am with you.
    
    
13. I love how our bodies just fit together.
    
    
14. I love the way you make me laugh.
    
    
15. I love the way you laugh.
    
    
16. I love the way you won't compromise yourself when we are together.
    
    
17. I love the way you won't let me compromise myself.
    
    
18. I love your thoughtfulness.
    
    
19. I love your tenderness.
    
    
20. I love your ability to speak without saying a single word.
    
    
21. I love the way we glance at each other across the room and know what each other is thinking.
    
    
22. I love the way, how even though we may be miles apart I still feel like you're right here with me.
    
    
23. I love the way you surprise me with the perfect gifts that show you pay attention to me.
    
    
24. I love the way you'll watch a sporting game with me even though you may not be interested in it.
    
    
25. I love the way you treat my friends.
    
    
26. I love your love for the things that interest me.
    
    
27. I love the way you let me live my life freely without jealousy.
    
    
28. I love how you demand respect but are not controlling.
    
    
29. I love how I would do anything in this world to make you happy.
    
    
30. I love how you would do anything in this world to make me happy.
    
    
31. I love the way your voice sounds over the phone.
    
    
32. I love the way your voice sounds when you whisper sweet nothings in my ear.
    
    
33. I love the completeness and oneness I feel when we make love.
    
    
34. I love your sensuality.
    
    
35. I love how our romance feels like the perfect romance movie.
    
    
36. I love how you are my soul mate.
    
    
37. I love the way you handle troubled times.
    
    
38. I love the way you respect me.
    
    
39. I love the way you protect and defend me.
    
    
40. I love how you feel when we cuddle.
    
    
41. I love the softness of your lips against mine.
    
    
42. I love the softness of you lips against my body.
    
    
43. I love the feeling of your hair brushing against me when we make love.
    
    
44. I love laying in bed at night talking about nothing.
    
    
45. I love waking up to find we've been cuddling together all night.
    
    
46. I love the surprises you leave for me.
    
    
47. I love your intelligence.
    
    
48. I love your ingenuity.
    
    
49. I love your ability to make friends where ever we go.
    
    
50. I love your love for life.
    
    
51. I love your passion for your hobbies and interests.
    
    
52. I love how every time I look at you, you take my breath away.
    
    
53. I love how I thank God everyday for bringing someone as wonderful as you into my life.
    
    
54. I love the fact you gave me the gift of our children.
    
    
55. I love the special moments that we shared that will remain my fondest memories of you and I.
    
    
56. I love spending the holidays with the one person I love the most.
    
    
57. I love how my heart skips a beat whenever you walk into the room.
    
    
58. I love how you love me.
    
    
59. I love how I love you.
    
    
60. I love the ways you choose to show your affection for me.
    
    
61. I love the way you inspire me to be more than I am.
    
    
62. I love the way you spark my creativity and imagination.
    
    
63. I love the way you make me feel like anything is possible as long as I'm with you.
    
    
64. I love your sense of humor.
    
    
65. I love the way you make me feel like royalty.
    
    
66. I love the way you dress.
    
    
67. I love your understated elegance.
    
    
68. I love you just the way you are.
    
    
69. I love your spontaneity.
    
    
70. I love our life together.
    
    
71. I love how if I died right now I would be the happiest person alive knowing I found my one true love.
    
    
72. I love the fact that we will grow old together.
    
    
73. I love your way with words.
    
    
74. I love the way you look when your sleeping.
    
    
75. I love the way you think you look awful when you first wake up when it is actually then I find you the most beautiful.
    
    
76. I love your willingness to share everything and most especially your heart with me.
    
    
77. I love your strength of character.
    
    
78. I love taking showers together.
    
    
79. I love the way you leave me love notes to find whenever you're gone.
    
    
80. I love the way you treat me.
    
    
81. I love the way you take care of us.
    
    
82. I love your cooking.
    
    
83. I love the way you take the time to thank me for doing every day things.
    
    
84. I love the way you show your affection when we are around friends and/or family.
    
    
85. I love the way you are not scared to show your affection when we are in public.
    
    
86. I love your confidence.
    
    
87. I love your ability to make me feel better when times are tough.
    
    
88. I love the way we make up after a fight.
    
    
89. I love how you treat our children.
    
    
90. I love the way you support me when I'm off track.
    
    
91. I love the way you take the time to show me how much you love me.
    
    
92. I love your beautiful hair.
    
    
93. I love your body.
    
    
94. I love your openness to try new things.
    
    
95. I love your ability to talk things through.
    
    
96. I love your courage to be you.
    
    
97. I love your greatness.
    
    
98. I love the fact that you want to be with me and only me.
    
    
99. I love how I am and feel when I am with you!
    
    
100. I love you for you!